The Opposite Is Also True

When you're facing a problem no story can solve

This story began on a river, with me falling in love with a kayaker who reminded me to see the river, not the rocks. This story began with my conviction that storytelling is humanity’s superpower; that if we learn how to be better storytellers, there will be no river we cannot run. Success starts with the story you tell, I kept insisting, and if we want to thrive on the river, all we have to do is see the river, not the rocks.

Everything I have written so far this year is grounded in science. Every single story that I’ve told you has been the truth.

We have an unbelievable ability to find meaning, to spin our minds into the future, to make sense of the past.  We have the ability to learn more from our mistakes, and the ability to imagine ourselves into a different future, that is distinct from any other species on earth.

If you reset your story, you can change your life.

I believed it then. I believe it now.

And.

The opposite is also true.

Niels Bohr and the Reliable Narrator

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth…A deep truth is a truth so deep that not only is it true but it's exact opposite is also true.

—Niels Bohr

Facts, not to get political here, are simply facts. But there is a difference between simple facts and deep truths; and this has been the subject of decades of rumination by physicists like Niels Bohr, the originator of the idea; but Oscar Wilde, Werner Heisenberg, Carl Sagan, and Anne Lamott have echoed it through the years. Mathematicians, cosmologists, physicists, and spiritual essayists, all wrestling with the same paradox.  While the opposite of an empirical fact is a falsehood, the opposite of a deep truth is often another deep truth. With this in mind, I look at my own core stories, and I think, yes.

The opposite is also true.

We are all kayakers, working our way to the sea, and our stories are our paddlestrokes. Fear not, we say, and we put our paddle in the water into the unknown that is all of our lives.

But sometimes the world is terrifying, and fear is the only  rational response. We’ve spoken about this before. Research shows that when you are truly suffering, when the storms are battering your boat, when you are shrouded in darkness, it is important to be afraid. Fear has a season. Fear is a part of the human experience.

Fear not! I believed it then. I believe it now.

And the opposite is also true.

Fight back, we tell each other, when we crash into the rocks, when our hearts break, or our bodies falter, or our government stumbles. Fight back because plot twists are inevitable and success starts with the story you tell, so don’t give up.

But sometimes, it doesn’t matter what you do.

Sometimes, no story will change the realities of life on this planet.

We live in human bodies.  As the Buddhist Thich Nhat Hahn reminds us, we are born to break down, born to die. Everything that is alive, will one day perish. Beech trees will vanish from the forest. Blue whales will die out at sea.  And someday you will die, too.

Fight back. I believed it then. I believe it now.

And the opposite is also true.

Life is suffering, say the Buddhists; such is the nature of life itself, and no story will change that. And sometimes, the more you struggle, the more you resist the inevitability of loss, the more you will suffer.

Find why, I insist, and we fix our gaze on the next bend of the river, or the horizon we can barely see, because the purpose of life is a life with purpose.

We are desperate to find meaning in the events that happen, in the arc of the universe. The scientist Jonathan Chaidt noted that human beings are obsessive meaning makers: we are constantly culling through all the experiences, data and information that we receive, and creating meaning from it. We are constantly searching for why. This purpose fuels us. This quest for meaning in the mysterious is what fuels all of us.  The search is the wellspring of all our stories.

I believed it then. I believe it now.

And.

The opposite is also true.

Sometimes life has no meaning at all.

Don’t believe me? Look outside.

Lightning strikes a tree; is there a reason? Did the tree deserve it? Did lightning choose a tree because this tree is so strong, it will survive, or did lightning choose a tree because the tree made bad choices, and somehow deserved this? Was the lightning trying to teach the tree a lesson?

Of ourse not. Of course not. We would never say such a thing to a tree, so why do we say it to ourselves?

Storms decimate a landscape, and disease infiltrates a community, and bacteria infest a beech tree, and people we love suffer and die

And there is no reason for it at all.

Sometimes you are standing blissfully in the sun. Sometimes you are paddling deftly down the river, sometimes you are filled with light and hope and a sense of possibility.

And sometimes.

Sometimes.

Sometimes the opposite is true.

After Meaning

Someone smarter than me could tell you more about the math behind Mr. Bohr’s argument; he was friends with Einstein, and they debated formulas and quantum realities together. But I’m a creative writing major, and likely to get very lost in the math. Since nature is our only reliable narrator, let’s see if nature agrees with Niels.

So, I ask the natural world, are there many deep truths where the opposite is also true?

And I think, well, yes. I’ve mentioned this before. Water is essential for our survival, but also, water is an instrument of torture.

Fire is the opposite of water, and fire is essential for our survival too.

We can burn to death, and we can drown.

Wait. Where was I going with this?

Right. The opposite is also true.

If you look at almost any element in nature, you will find an opposing force. Even in how bonded cells interact; when one twists left, the other twists right. We are always drawn to that element of duality, of balance. We step forward first with our left foot, then with our right. We live in darkness, and we live in light. We breathe in, and we breathe out, and we must do both of these things to survive.

The opposite is also true might feel like a curse, when we are seeking meaning and there is none to be found; when we are drowning in fear; when we are helpless against the realities of mortal bodies.

But if the opposite is also true, might this not be a blessing as well? Maybe this is not a burden we carry. Maybe it is a grace right there for us to discover.

Say out loud the truth that haunts you, whatever it is. Make it a deep truth, because those are the truths that count.

The world is falling apart.

So be afraid.

My heart is shattered into pieces.

Don’t ask why.

Nothing lasts forever.

Yes.

And maybe.

Maybe.

Maybe the opposite…

..

This is one chapter in a year-long saga of love, grief, and the stories we tell to survive it all. To find out how it began, go here. Or subscribe for free to get a new chapter every week.